I'd say most of our conversations would involve some sort of innuendo, it's not like we ever had heart to hearts or talked about normal things. One time I asked "what should I do" because I was asking for advice about something, and he said "just make small circles," alluding to masturbating. He made me toaster strudels and drew a penis on it with the icing. At the table, while eating breakfast, he'd talk about swallowing and stuff. To him, women are here to please their man whether they want to or not, and look hot, and that's about it. He'd tell me that I should always "swallow" for a guy. He talked to me about his previous sex life with my mom, and how she wasn't very good and wouldn't give him anal sex as much as he'd like because it was too inconvenient etc. He started making comments that I had a nice butt after I lost weight and he started paying more attention to me.
I assume that maybe since my sister is not my Dad's biological child, he was more interested in sexually abusing her? Plus I got my period at around 9 years old, so maybe that stopped him from going any further?īut my Dad continued making me uncomfortable, because he would talk about sex a lot, in a way that I found inappropriate. The police had no evidence so it was dropped. My sister had moved away with my mom at that point. I found out about the accusation and really didn't want to believe it. When I was around 9 years old, the police investigated my dad because my sister accused him of sexually abusing her. My older half sister lived with us until I was around 8 maybe. He kept somewhat pornographic magazines in the bathroom, although not always on the top of the magazine pile, but they were out where a curious child could find them. He and I would sometimes spoon on the couch, clothed. Like tracing his finger down my back in shapes. I remember he would also "tickle" my back while I was laying down. That's all I remember about the wrestling. He would wrestle with me and pin me down and then cover my mouth with his hand. Wondering if what I went through as a child & teen with my father counts as sexual abuse.Īs a child, it started off with my father "wrestling" with me.